


The slow heart arrow

by violetann



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Solavellan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-11 10:04:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8975200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetann/pseuds/violetann
Summary: This is set just after trespasser has ended. Cole has become more spirit and disappeared, the inquisition is disbanded, most of her friends are now leaving and soon she will be forced to leave skyhold. Cole decides to try to help Solas heal by sending him to Lavellan.





	1. Sometimes you just need a little push

**Author's Note:**

> You make beautiful music, my love/ your song is beautiful, my love  
> “Ma Sulahn ina'lan'ehn, ma lath”
> 
> I’m sorry my heart  
> “Ir abelas….. Vhenan”
> 
> I love you, my heart  
> “Ar lath, Vhenan”
> 
> You are my heart’s desire/safe place solas.  
> “ne ane ma vhenan’ara solas”

Deep within the eluvian labyrinth solas walks searching for memories from before the veil.

Solas stops still and without turning speaks with an equal measure of annoyance and frustration  
“What are you doing here Cole? I told you not to follow me”  
“You told me I am a spirit. It is in my nature to be a spirit of compassion. I go where I am most needed” cole replies from behind him.  
“I told you. you cannot help me cole. This is not a pain you can heal.” Solas replies with frustration.  
Frantly cole replies “You need to let yourself be healed. I can show you. I must show you.” he grabs sola’s arm.  
The world around them fades away and is replaced with an apparition of lavellan sitting on the bed in her quarters at skyhold in the moonlight. 

Cole stutters in a whirlwind of words “Darkness, lost, pain in my chest... burning, they are leaving, home is gone, everyone is gone, alone dark, my fault. Should have done better, I must do better, my fault, I should have seen. Should have listen, its gone, its all gone, lost failed, failed them all, should have done better. elves are gone. My wolf is gone. My clan is gone. Everyone is gone. I am alone”.  
Lavellan’s eyes glisten with pools of tears ready to trickle down her checks in the silent lonely moonlight.  
Solas looks away with sadness in his eyes. “I…. I cannot help her cole…. It would hurt her more having me by her side..”  
Solas takes one more look at Lavellan as tears roll down her cheeks. “ple..please I beg of you cole do not show me this” he begs with a deep sadness.  
Cole replies softly “You needed to see. You cannot stop her from getting hurt. You cannot stop yourself from getting hurt. You cannot stop anyone from getting hurt. You can only be there to help heal them. I thought I was meant to stop people from getting hurt. But I know getting hurt is normal now. I am meant to help heal hurt. I know that now.”  
Lavellan unaware of their presence wipes the tears from her eyes and starts to walk around the almost deserted skyhold. 

Almost everyone has left now after the inquisition is over. Soon the chantry forces will arrive to claim skyhold and she will have to leave. Most people have already left. The few that remain had been packing their possessions and supplies into crates and wagons to leave to all the different far off reaches of thedas. She has nowhere to go to. Even if the dalish would take her in without her vallaslin. The elves have disappeared. The world of the humans would not welcome her either. As much as varric offer of a home in kirkwall was kind, Half are afraid of how powerful the herald of andraste is, the others just see a knife ear. There is no place in this world for her now.

Lavellan reaches sola’s room. She pauses in the doorway for a moment remembering the visions of solas studying ancient lore and history at his desk. The smell of wet paints and old books always use to hang in the air. she always thought of it as a mixture of dreaming and knowledge like him. 

Lavellan slowly walks into the empty room and over to the half finished wolf painting lit only by the moonlight spilling in through the roof.  
Lavellan reaches out with her remaining hand touching the wolf in the unfinished painting.  
“The pain is sharper here… alone, so alone… He needs me. I should have listened more. I should have helped more. I should have made him stay. I Should be with him. my wolf is alone.” Cole speaks.  
Solas looks at her with deep sadness in his eyes and starts to reaches out his hand to hold hers and softly says “Ir abelas….. Vhenan”.  
Just as Solas starts to reach out to her. cole softly says “I cannot heal you my friend but she can” and lets go of sola’s arm. Cole vanishes and the world around solas becomes real. Sola’s hand now gently holds Lavellan’s hand.  
His words soft words Ir abelas Vhenan carry gently on the warm night air to her. Her heart skips a beat. She knows its him. She feels his strong gentle hand hold hers and his breath at the back of her neck sweetly whispering to her. Lavellan is too afraid to turn around at first. She doesn't want to watch him leave again. She wants this moment of them together to last an eternity, but she knows she cannot stay in this moment forever. 

Lavellan slowly turns around to see solas. Solas gently strokes the tears from her face. With a look of deep longing he gently hold her close with in his arms.  
Solas gently whispers “Ar lath, Vhenan”. Solas passionately kisses Lavellan. her back pushes against the wolf painting as they passionately embrace.  
Solas looks deeply and sadly at lavellan. Before he can speak she gently caresses his face with her hand. “It’s ok solas. I know you have to go again. But we have tonight. We have this moment.” lavellan whispers softy.  
Solas smiles and gently caresses her cheek with his hand “Then we shall make this night last a lifetime Vhenan” Solas embraces Lavellan in his arms and kisses her with a passion so deep it leaves echoes through eternity in the fade.  
Lavellan’s fingers curl though his soft wolf fur cape as his lips gently kissed down her porcelain neck. “S..solas” Lavellan lets out a gentle moan while gripping the wolf fur.  
Solas smiles and wispers in her ear “Ma sulahn ina'lan'ehn, ma lath”.

Solas unclips the wolf fur from his armor and lays it on the stone floor.  
“I want to make your beautiful music to echo through the fade for entity, ma lath” solas whispers in her ear smiling as he sweeps lavellan into his arms and lays her on the fur.  
Lavellan words dance off her tongue “ne ane ma vhenan’ara solas” as he lays her down.  
Hearing her desire for him, sola’s heart melted and kissed her with a passion filled with unbridled longing. Sola breathed heavily as he felt her hand slipped past his armour. She felt his warm elven skin on her hand as she traced along his back with her fingers. They both yearned to feel their skin caress against each other. Lavellan pulled at his armour with desire. Solas was more than happy obliged her desire as he shed his armour and the burden of fen'harel. Here and now he was solas, just solas. Fen'harel felt like another life, another world. Here and now She was Lavellan, none’s savior and no one's herald expect her own. They both carried burdens of saving their worlds, a burden too heavy for anyone to truly bear, even for a hero to bear without burning themselves. At least for a moment their burdens were laid to rest. 

Solas kissed down Lavellan’s neck with raw passion, his supple lips tracing further down her neck with each kiss. Sola ripped open her shirt pulling off the cloth that held them apart. He needed to feel Lavellan next to him.  
Solas breathed heavey in her intoxicating sweet honeysuckle and starlight scent as she held him close to her. He was like a dream she never wanted to wake up from. His hands traced down the curves of her naked body, memorising each exhilarating curve. Their bodies becoming one together in the warm moonlit air. 

He was apart of her now, entwining deeper with each passionate thrust. She didn’t want him to ever stop, she wanted him inside her for eternity. The room echoed with their deep moans as their souls were laid bare in the moonlite passions. Solas let himself fully go in that moment.

They lay together memorising each other in their sweet passionate embrace until stars and moon left and the sky turned to orange. the sunlight started to shimmer through the roof.  
Solas looked sadly at Lavellan. He wanted to remember this moment forever.  
“I know you must go before anyone wakes up, ma lath” Lavellan said kissing him softly.  
“You will always be in my heart, ma lath” solas says stroking her face with a look of deep longing in his eyes.  
Once dressed Lavellan and Solas walk together through the early morning garden their hands interlocked towards the eluvian.  
“You know my life with end in death, in fire.” solas says solemnly  
“If this ends in fire, we shall burn together, ma lath” Lavellan says sadly.  
“I promise I will look for other ways if there are any. Vhenan” solas says holding her close to him one more time.  
As they passionately kiss goodbye nether one of them wants to break the embrace, but they both know they must carry their burdens of heroes again. Lavellan watches solas walk into the eluvian and vanish. She watches as the magical light fades away before walking slowly back through the garden towards her room pulling her ripped shirt closed.  
As she gets half way through garden cassandra spots her.  
“Are you alright inquisitor, I mean Lavellan?” cassandra noticing her disheveled look and ripped clothing.  
“Yes, yes I am. There is hope for him, cassandra we can reach him if we try. It won't be easy but I know there is a way” Lavellan says smiling.  
Lavellan packs to leave skyhold determined to find an alternative way to save the world and save solas from himself


	2. Friends with blacksmithing skills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lavellan prepares to leave sky hold to find Solas with help from Cassandra, Dagna and Harding.

Lavellan spent the next three week carefully rereading Leliana’s old and new reports trying to ascertain where Solas is, if he is even this side of the eluvian at all. Leliana even with all the new duties with her new position of divine she still keeps her spies busy searching for Solas and his organisation. Leliana does not trust this time of peace, as she calls it the carm before a great storm. After most of the other elves left Orlais and Ferelden in an almost mass evacuation, things have gone quite in Orlais and Ferelden. Most of the elves are gone except Sera, but Sera was never really much like an elf, more like a human trapped in a elf body. 

 

After Sera left to return to Val Royeaux, she kept her ear to the ground. Even The Friends of Red Jenny didn’t know what happened to the elves. Sera told her before “It’s like they vanished Yeah... In the night. How can whole parts of cities vanish, like their must be I dunno bloody hundreds of people Yeah. How do they bloody well vanish. I don’t pissing like it. Even some Friends of Red Jenny are disappearing. They went quiet and then just disappeared. Some of them have been seen with wagons or their belongings have been missing then poof, they're gone.. They must be packing to go somewhere… you don’t pack unless you know you're going somewhere. I thought I was done with all this weird shit. Its weird. People just don’t vanish. “

 

Cassandra walked over to the desk where Lavellan is sitting with mountains of reports cluttering the desk.

 

“Looking over the reports again?” Cassandra says looking over the latest reports.

“Yes… there’s a new one from Tevinter. We were right to investigate after Dorian sent word about there being unrest with the elves in Tervinter. They're mostly still there but there's reports of elves and elven slaves in larger and larger numbers leaving. Dorian says the imperium is panicking.” Lavellan said concentrating on every small detail of the spy’s report. 

“Perhaps it’s harder for them to leave in Tervinter, the imperium controls its citizens a lot more than Orlais or Ferelden.” Cassandra said with intrigue looking over her shoulder.

“Yes, I think so, but look here.. Look at all the thefts of books and artifacts.. There’s something else. He’s looking for something. I would have left already but  Dagna need more time to complete the modifications to the prosthetic arm.”   Lavellan spoke with a deep frustration at having to sit and wait when the world needed her. 

“You? Not us? Did you think I would let you do this on your own? I dragged you into this to begin with.” Cassandra bellowed with annoyance at the idea of not being included.

“It wasn’t your fault Cassandra….” Lavellan is cut off before she can finish.

“It wasn’t your fault either. But this is what must be done.” Cassandra said with fierce resolve to complete this with her. 

 

“I… I’m not sure there’s a happy ending to this Cassandra.. I’m not sure I’m going to make it back from this one..but I need to stop him, I need… I need to save Solas” Lavellan said with a looking down with sadness in her eyes. 

Cassandra’s face soften with concern for her friend. 

“I’m sorry.. I know Solas hurt you. I know.. I know you love him very much. You know…  you know can always talk to me if you need to. I am your friend. I am here for you” Cassandra said placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Than… Thank you Cassandra.” Lavellan spoke softly.

 

“You're right, though we can’t tell many where we are going. Solas was right about spies. The more that know the more chance Solas will know what we are doing. Lavellan need to carry on her duties as the divine but she can still help us with her spies.”  Cassandra remarked thinking.

“I couldn’t ask anyone to come with me. I can’t ask that of them. Solas couldn’t even look at me when he told me vaguely what he intended to do. He was ashamed of it… He said he walked the Din’anshiral..” Lavellan replied.

“What does it mean?” Cassandra asked.

“It the journey of death. I’m not completely sure what he means by that. But for all the other elves to disappear…”as Lavellan spoke her expression turned to dread.

 

Cassandra looked concerned for her friend. Cassandra loved reading about some character in varric’s latest romance book and their passionate romantic angst, but watching her friend who had been through so much pain and horrors only to have her heart broke and thrown back into another war all over again without even a chance to breath was sickening. 

“It is late. You should get some rest. You will need your wits about you as the new commander the chantry is sending gets here. He should be here tomorrow” Cassandra said. 

“Do you know anything thing about him?” Lavellan asked.

“More than I would have liked. He…. He is from Nevarra.. He is from a somewhat noble household but joined the order a lot older than most. He is… He is not very tactful and dislikes mages and dislikes… “ Cassandra took a little deep breath  before trying to approach the subject again. 

“Let me guess elves?” Lavellan said sarcastically.

“Yes.. I was hoping we would not be here when he arrived myself.” Cassandra said regretting having to even speak of him.

“I take it an old friend of yours” Lavellan said joking.

“Our families knew each other…. So… so I had to endure his company. I hoped when He joined the order and I left Nevarra I would never see him again. He is insufferable.“ Said with disdain at his memory. 

“It looks like I’m not the only one who will need their wits about them when he arrives… good night cassandra” Lavellan said joking.

 

Lavellan awoke late in the afternoon, she had slept longer than she had intended to. It was far too easy for her to get distracted with searching the fade for solas. No one dared wake her unless it was urgent, they knew she had been through too much and deserved a rest. Though her dreams were far from restful, she was pushing her abilities in the fade further in an attempt to find him. If she could control the fade around her with better precision and make herself travel further maybe she could reach him. 

 

When Lavellan awoke and realised the warm afternoon sun was bathing her room she got dressed quickly and headed down to Dagna in the undercroft. She was meant to head down earlier for Dagna to test the fitting of her prosthetic arm. 

 

“Hello Lavellan” Dagna said happily as she adjusted scout harding’s crossbow.

“Good afternoon Lavellan” said Harding. 

“There.. The enchantments should make it much better now and the adjustments to the mechanism should make it completely silent.”  Dagna said passing back the crossbow to harding.

“Thank you Dagna” Harding said smiling and checking her crossbow.

“Your welcome. Just try not to leave it so long before you get me to check it over again. I wouldn’t want it breaking apart in the field” Dagna said smiling.

“I will try to, it's not easy to get things fixed in the field. I could use a tiny Dagna to carry around to help keep things repaired” harding joked.

“Lavellan….Is it true you're leaving soon to find solas?” Dagna asked seriously. 

 

“Who told you?” Lavellan looked crossly.

“No one… but these modifications to your new arm.. Their for battle..a simple prosthesis would be easy but this is built for war” Dagna looked at the arm with concern.

Lavellan didn’t say anything and after a few tense minutes harding spoke.

“So it is true. I had my suspicions you were going after him but I thought you’d at least ask me to help you.“ harding said crossly.

 

“This is too dangerous, this is my fault. I don’t want anyone to get hunt.” Lavellan replied.

“The hell it is. You know i’m the best scout there is. This world isn’t just your to save alone. I’ve watched my home get ruined and I’ve lost good friends and colleagues. This is OUR fight too. I bet you didn’t even think you would come back here either.“ harding shouted.

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t ask this of you.” Lavellan replied.

 

“You’ll need a smith too. I joined up to help make the world better. Neither of us are going to turn their back on you now” Dagna stated with solidarity.

“But you're not a fighter” Lavellan stated. 

“The tranquil and the templars taught me a little while I was in the circle so I could defend myself and i’m smith cast so i’m very strong. You will need someone to fix your arm too when it gets damaged. No ordinary smith can do that. “ Dagna replied.

“Ok….” said Lavellan let out a little sigh. She didn’t want to put anyone else in danger, but she knew they were right she couldn’t do this on her own and she couldn’t completely trust her own judgement when it came to Solas. 

“Thank you.. We must keep this a secret and to a small group small. Just you both, myself and cassandra. Too many people and we risk Solas’s spies will find out.” Lavellan said.

Harding and Dagna nod in acceptance.

 

“Oh your arm! I am just about done with the first prototype” Dagna said almost forgetting her project. 

“Sorry it took so long but with you being a mage I had to make sure it could withstand the magical fallout from your spells. The first prototype was far too brittle. But those modifications you asked me to make should help.” Dagna remarked with her ecstatic glee from explaining her latest magical invention. Dagna picked up the arm from a work bench. The arm was made of metal with fragments of crystal and runes with lyrium interweaved into it.  It was an odd mix of cultures some parts looked like they would be at home in the circle of magi artifacts others were obviously dwarven runes, there was even glimpses of elven magic interwoven. At the core barely visible was a black stone arm reconnected with lyrium and metal. 

“Is that… is that Lavellan’s arm.. Her arm… the one Solas turned to stone” Harding looked horrified when she saw the black stone arm at the prosthetic arm’s core.  

“Yes, we had to… it's still part of her..the same way the stone is part of us. Her stone arm is part of her still. Have you lost your stone sense completely? Can you not hear it, it sings to her” Dagna said.

“I never really had any stone sense” Harding replied.

“Well it allows Lavellan to use it still to cast magic.. It's stone but it's still connected to her so it’s still connected to the fade. The frame helps keep it together and magic and lyrium in it gives it a boost. Though the frame needed to be strong enough for Lavellan to cast strong battle spells without falling apart and the.. But i’m getting carried away.. Here let’s try it out. I added the harness so it would keep in place during battle” Dagna remarked.

Lavellan unwrapped her bandaged arm stump and strapped the arm to herself and fastened the harness to her body. The lose prosthetic arm moved around freely like a rag doll as she began to fasten it on. When the cold dark stone touched the skin of her stump arm there was a small flash of raw magic like an electric shock where it connected and the arm went ridge. Once her arm was fastened in place Lavellan attempted to flexed the fingers. They all watched as the finger one by one. Lavellan flexed and rotated her arm testing the full range of movement.

“Amazing…” Harding said astonished at the creation.

“Its feels much more stable with the harness. Thank you Dagna” Lavellan said smiling.

“Oh maybe give it a little try with your magic again… but aim towards the waterfall this time..” Dagna joked.

“Ok” Lavellan replied picking up a staff and walked over towards the waterfall.

She took a deep breath and concentrated on a smile small fireball. As she span around and cast her spell the arm glowed with a surge of magic. A huge firewall white hot burned through the cavern mouth out to the waterfall. The stone at the edges of the entrance glowed with heat. Lavellan collapsed to her knees with exhaustion. 

“Holy shit!” harding shouted feeling the heat from the other side of the undercroft.

“Maybe a little smaller next time but at least we know it can withstand large amounts of magic” Dagna replied.

“I was trying small…. I think i need to practice a bit more.. These runes really pack a punch. Thank you Dagna, this is perfect” Lavellan replied standing up.

“It was very fun to make… and those elven runes you taught me were amazing to use… oh I wish i had more time to tinker though.. Maybe I can do a little improvements on the road” Dagna said happily.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it. Though I don’t intend on getting anything cut off again“ Lavellan laughed at her getting carried away.

“Oh I’ll need to bring all the circle of magi runecrafting tombs and the paragon tombs and my arcane tools and..

“We’ll need to pack light if we're going on the road.” Harding joked as she saw the giant pile of books and tools Dagna was quickly amassing. 

“Oh yes right… I never really spent much time on the road.. It was mostly going from circle to circle. I’m not sure what to pack” Dagna replied looking at the pile.

“I’d suggest we start with some warm cloths.. I’ll help you pack” harding said smiling. 

“I’ll leave you to it. I need to get use to this arm and check when the chantry commander is arriving.“ Lavellan said before leaving. 


	3. the emperors new cloths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the commander arrives in skyhold and Lavellan spends a moment with Solas in the fade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vhenan = heart/my heart  
> Emma sa’lath = my one love

The next afternoon Lavellan was alerted by a lookout that a large military convoy was seen travelling on the road towards Skyhold. Lavellan headed to the battlements to watch them arrive.   
The chantry commander road in with a ridiculous amount of pomp and ceremony. she giggled to herself when she thought she is finally found somebody who's thirst for theatrical entrance would put Dorian or Vivienne to shame.  
Cassandra walked over to Lavellan.   
“Ugh.. he’s here” Cassandra sighed with disdain.  
“Is he always this over the top” Lavellan laughed.  
“Yes… I suppose we must still welcome him… I warn you he is even worse than his entrances” Cassandra replied. 

Even with the vast amount of stone stairs down from the battlements to the courtyard the commander’s manservant had still not listed all of the commander’s achievements. In fact he was only on scroll 1 of 3 when Cassandra interrupted.  
“yes, we have all heard your achievements Dawson.” Cassandra said sarcastically walking over.  
Dawson swept back his perfectly combed long brown hair and leaped off his horse with excitement at seeing Cassandra.  
“Commander Dawson now... and Yes philipe that will not be necessary. I and lady Pentaghast are very much acquainted already” he said winking while attempting to kneel and kiss Cassandra’s hand. Cassandra pulled her hand away with displeasure before he could kiss it.  
“Commander Dawson, I do not think that is appropriate” Cassandra said annoyed.   
“Of course, not mixing duty and pleasure very smart of you as always. Maybe after I have relieved you of your duties here we can get acquainted again. I heard letting one's emotions get in the way of their command is how the inquisition got us into this mess to begin with. but what do you expect by letting elves run around playing soldier anyway… the simple minded this can’t control themselves, why mine couldn’t even get my laundry right” Dawson laughed waiting for his yes men to agree with him. They chuckled behind him giving him comments of praise.   
Lavellan’s new arm formed a fist. She was almost ready to try her new target on his immaculately landscaped face.   
“DAWSON… This is the…” Cassandra shouted at dawson with anger.  
Before she could finish Dawson started up again.   
“Ohhh you finally got a house elf Cassandra? I’m sorry to have insulted you my lady. I’m sure she does a lovely job. She has two arms, which is more than I can say about that last inquisitor. Elf you can show philippe to my rooms, he will need to clean them at once and replace the sheets.. I doubt that forest elf knew anything about cleanliness let alone good orlesian silk sheets..” Dawson said completely oblivious.  
The sky grew dark with storm clouds and air started to prickle with magical energy as Lavellan new arm started to glow.  
“Cassandra my dear i think your house elf is defective it's starting to glow” Dawson Joked.  
“Dawson YOU IDIOT” Cassandra said shouting and slapping him so hard across the face he fell to the ground. Lavellan snapped out of her rage and the sun came back as he fell.   
“What was that for Cassandra? We were always good friends growing up my love” Dawson pleaded looking confused.  
“You should think before you speak. I thought you would have learned that at least by now” Cassandra signed.   
“My love I am sorry If I offended you. I only wish to defend your honour. The honour of my betrothed” Dawson said attempting to kiss her hand again.  
“WE ARE NOT BETROTHED. I said no every time you asked” Cassandra shouted clearly embarrassed.   
“Yes.. but that is a mere small formality in the face of true love” Dawson said winking at her.   
Cassandra decides to completely ignore him saying he is her true love.   
“And what do you mean defend my honour… If i remember correctly I was the one defending you when you got into beaten up after you put your foot in it with everyone.” Cassandra remarks.  
“I was merely telling them the error of their ways…” Dawson replies trying to deny the fact.  
“Ugh… Dawson this is the ex inquisitor, Lavellan…” Cassandra says gesturing towards Lavellan.  
“Lady Lavellan this is Commander Dawson. He is an idiot, he does not mean half of what he says. Dawson, who happens to be someone I grew up with” Cassandra says looking at him.

“Normally in meeting someone for the first time I would say It was a pleasure to meet them but on this occasion after what you just said you're lucky they're not scraping you off the stone tiles. As for your ‘rooms’ you can stay in one of the guest wings. I will be leaving in a few days but until I do I am the commander here and I will stay in MY QUARTERS. Is that clear?” Lavellan commanded staring him down with a look of pure rage.  
“I… I suppose that is acceptable” Dawson mumbled with shock and fear.  
“Now I have business to attend to and you are giving me a headache.” Lavellan said storming off. 

“Ugh… come on Dawson.. I will show you to your guest room” Cassandra said leading him off alone.  
“I um… I “ Dawson stumbled around for the words.  
“Please Dawson try to be more mature.. When you attempt to show off you get like this.. She is my dearest friend do not insult her. She has been through too much already” Cassandra said softly. She knew what the problem was, what it always was. He wasn’t really a bad person, he just copied what other people said to impress them. The problem was when you had that much power and money often people would agree with what you said no matter what to obtain some of that power. So Dawson became surrounded by people who agreed with him just because of family's power and money. 

“Please just try to make a better impression at dinner” Cassandra pleaded softly.  
“I will try. I’m sorry Cassandra. I don’t know what comes over me sometimes” Dawson said looking ashamed.  
“While we are alone. Why did you say no?” he asked.  
“You asked me to marry you for the same reason you said those things. You wanted to impress people. You asked me because it is what your family wanted and what would impress everyone. I have told you before you need to stop worrying about impressing everyone and think before you act.“ Cassandra replied.  
Dawson didn’t reply, part of him knew she was right. He didn’t really know what he truly wanted.  
Later it seemed that Dawson was trying to make a better first impression. He had reorganised the kitchen staff and some of his own staff to layout an elaborate feast. The large oak tables groaned under the weight of the vast amount of dishes. Dawson, Cassandra and many other were already seated when Lavellan came into the great hall.  
“Ah good evening Lavellan.. I am sorry for earlier.. I was rude please let me make it up to you. I know the cause of love never did run smooth.. I myself had a spot of dashing trouble in an attempt to win the hand of lady Pentaghast… oh my yes… I could regale you with a story of young love and its trails and..” Dawson started with his story but was interrupted by Cassandra in attempt to stop him.  
“How is your new arm?” Cassandra asked as Lavellan sat down and reached for glass of water with it.  
“It’s a bit odd… It feels connected to me somehow, like i can almost feel it attached and I seem to be getting use to it quickly.” we should head out tomorrow if everyone is ready.  
“You can’t leave so soon Cassy, we haven’t had a chance to get acquainted.” Dawson pleaded.  
“It sounds like a good idea to leave tomorrow. I am already packed and I believe our friends are too” Cassandra replied to Lavellan.  
“Well at least enjoy the feast tonight.. philipe come serve lady Lavellan…” Dawson said gesturing to philipe who was awaiting orders near the table.

Lavellan’s stomach turned at the smell and the sign of the food and looked visibly sickened by it. She gestured no thank you to philipe as he offered her food.  
“Are alright Lavellan? The food is good.. If there is one thing Dawson knows it is how to host a dinner party” Cassandra asked watching Lavellan turn pailer.  
“Yes.. at least try the little frilly cakes..” Dawson said offering her some.  
Cassandra froze up with he put a plate of them in front of her.  
“Dawson… those..were” Cassandra starts to speak. She knew those were what Solas liked eating when they were in Val Royeaux.  
“It’s fine… I just have a bit of a upset stomach. It will pass. I just need some rest. Thank you for all the effort I am sorry I am not able to enjoy it. Please excuse me” Lavellan said leaving the table.  
“Of course. I hope you feel better Lady Lavellan” Dawson replied as she left.

Lavellan needed to get away. Her stomach was turning at the smell of all the food and her head and whole body was aching. She must have overdone it the the magic she thought, just some rest is what she needs right now. 

Lavellan sank deep down in her bed, enjoying the softness of the pillows and the crisp fresh linen. Soon she would be on the road again for who knows how long and the creature comforts of a proper rest will be far from her. It was easy for her at least this time to drift off to sleep.

She thought it was her appreciating the feeling of luxury and comfort which had influenced her dream when she found herself in dream of the winter palace ball. Some things were faded like the faces and the words in the crowds, but the warm glow, the soft fabrics and glistening of the glow was vivid as if she was still there. It felt exciting, intriguing, elegant and glamorous. 

She looked down at her formal wear. She always hated it. an attempt to make her look less like an elf she thought. Lavellan smiled to herself. If this is a dream, I’m going to do it properly she thought. The formal officer's suit fizzled away to an elegant elven dress of glistening green and gold with a intricate ancient elven circlet adorning her forehead. Much better she thought to herself smiling as she walked though the party to the balcony. 

She thought she had caused herself to dream of the place until she walked out onto the balcony. Solas was leaning against the wall in some elven formal attire, of course being him it had to be garnished with a wolf's fur.   
Solas smile at her “Good evening Vhenan”.  
“Solas..” Lavellan smiled walking over close to him.  
“I think I’m starting to get better at controlling things in the fade.. Do you like it?” Lavellan said showing him her latest creation. Lavellan strolled closer to him, so close he could feel her breath against his skin. She was purposely encouraging him to reach out and hold her.   
Solas’s heart began beating faster as he gazed enchanted by her beautiful elegance in the elven dress as she drew closer to him. He traced her every inch of her body with his eyes.  
“Ye...yes” Solas said as he took a deep breath in. even in the fade he could still almost smell her sweet perfume as he breathed heavier.   
“I have never seen you in a dress before… you look so beautiful.. ma lath” Solas said breathless as he looked deeply in her eyes. Once again she had surprised him. He had been thrown off guard by her once again with her indomitable focus and beauty.   
“I was beginning to worry you had disappeared again.” Lavellan said tracing her fingers across his chest.   
“Ir abelas Vhenan.. I had..” Solas starts to explain to her but then stops himself. It would be far too easy for him to tell her too much. Solas pauses for a moment while he attempts to rethink an answer which would not give too much away. “I had important duties which meant I could not go looking for you in the fade.” Solas said reaching for her hand.  
“I was worried you had regretted that night…” Lavellan said softly and sadly.  
“Vhenan… I have regretted many things in my life. But being with you is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me in all my countless years.” Solas said taking her into his arms.  
“I…. I do not deserve your love Vhenan… you are such a unique and precious soul and I have caused you such pain. I just hoped to help ease your pain and frustrations..” Solas said holding her tighter.  
“Emma sa’lath you make me whole… I would endure any pain to have you at my side… the pain of being without you that is unendurable..” Lavellan says softly as she looks deep into his eyes.   
Lavellan kisses him softly, her lips gently caressing his as he hold her tight.   
“I thought you need a distraction tonight after the troubles of your day and it has been a long time since we had a dance.” solas said. as he gestured gentle ballroom music filled the fade.   
Lavellan began to dance in his arms to the enchanting music.  
“Oh your spies had been busy I see” she jested knowing full well he would have spies watching her.  
“...can you blame me? You do have a indomitable focus.” Solas said smiling. He knew she was playing a game of chess against him and had so far shown a farsight that impressed him beyond his imagining.  
“I guess I would do the same.. Or maybe I already have” she said in jest while smiling back.  
“Oh I shall have to sleep with one eye open from now on lest you slip into my bed when I am not looking” Solas laughed winking at her as they dance.  
“Oh as I recall it was you slipping into my bed, my love” smiled Lavellan.  
“Then I must do it again soon to refresh my memory” Solas said dipping her and kissing Lavellan passionately.  
They danced for hours, laughing and simply enjoying each other's company both careful not to give away what they were up to. They both knew it was dangerously thin line they walked.   
“I am sorry you had to experience that incompetent minded fool Dawson… my… my agents told me what he said. I am sorry.” Solas said still holding her in his arms.  
“Yes.. well Cassandra believes him to be harmless and although he did try to make up for his rudeness” Lavellan replied.  
“Yes, I heard about the feast.. You didn’t eat anything, you haven’t eaten much lately” Solas said concerned.  
“Your spies report what I’m eating too? Is there anything you don’t know?” she replied.  
“Oh where you're going would be nice?” Solas attempted to joke.  
“That is something I cannot tell you, and I don’t wish to lie to you” Lavellan said solemnly.  
“I hope you never have to lie to me my love.. And I do not ever want to lie to you again” Solas caressing her face with his hand.  
“Then we will not lie again… we will just say we cannot tell the other and leave it at that” Lavellan holding his hand close to her face.  
“That seems like a good plan and it means we get to keep these moments Vhenan” Solas said smiling and kissing her passionately again. Solas wishes he was there with her and not in the fade, but he still cherishes these stolen moments and so does she.


	4. Dawson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dawson and Cassandra. Cassandra explore the history and feelings her and Dawson share.

In the great hall after the feast dies down dawson walks back to his quarters with cassandra.  
“Why lady Pentaghast… following me back to my room, i didn’t believe you to be so forward but alas we have been apart too long my love and I shall gladly ease your pain” Dawson said fluidly with a spring in his voice winking at her.  
“You stole that from Dragons and damsels volume 4.. Besides someone has to make sure you don’t get into trouble getting back” cassandra joked.  
“I just don’t understand it..I tried my best to make amends.. You are right as always i spend too much time trying to impress people and not enough time making my own way” he said sighing.

‘Well your first impression did not help matters. But I believe Lavellan honestly felt ill” she replied reassuringly.  
“ do wish you would stay longer.. Things have not been the same without you cassy.” dawson said as they entered the room.  
“I have my duties and you do too dawson. You will do fine you just need to start following your heart. You always had a good heart. You were just lead astray by what others wanted you to do. Do what feels right” cassandra replied.  
“Ye..s.. I.. it's been a while. I wanted to make them proud..” Dawson said sadly resting against the stone.  
‘I know the feeling. But it's never good enough is it? You need to live for yourself and follow your own sense of pride” cassandra moving closer to him and placing a hand on his shoulder.

Dawson looked into cassandra’s eyes. She thought he only asked her to marry him because it was what his parents wanted, a legitimate link the the throne. It wasn’t true. Yes he went over board, he was a spoilt brat half of the time. But she showed him true honour, courage and compassion. He acted like an idiot and brought shame to his family all in a childish attempt to impress her. His parents had covered it up with money and influence but he had been forced to leave and join the chantry’s forces. Of course his parents had gotten him a soft position in their top ranks along with a handful of servants but for now at least he was exiled from home. 

Dawson’s eyes soften with a look of sadness and longing as he moved close to her. Cassandra’s back pressed against the cold stone wall as he caressed her cheek with his hand. His lips just inches away from hers as he looked deeply into her eyes.  
“I thought about you every day since you left cassy..” Dawson said with a deep but softness to his voice as he stroked her cheek with his hand.

“....this… this..isn’t funny dawson” Cassandra blushed as she struggled for words.  
“I have missed you with all my heart cassy” Dawson confessed as he moved even closer to her. His nose gently touching hers. Dawson had taught Cassandra to smile again and to look for the poetry in this world after everything looked dark and dead he had taught her to look for the life, love and beauty all around her. 

 

Cassandra found that her arms instinctively wrapped around him pulling him closer toward her. Her fingers wandering along his back. Her fingers found a small part of his warm muscular back exposed and traced along it. Cassandra breathed deeper as her heart fluttered.

Dawson felt her breath on his skin and her heart pounding faster against his chest.  
“Cas...sy…. I...love you.. I always have and I always will… my cassy..” Dawson whispered softly to Cassandra as his heart pounded in his chest. Dawson’s firm but soft lips caressed Cassandra’s delicate red lips as he kissed her softly but deeply. He had dreamed about her for so long. Cassandra let her strong shell fade away in that moment as she kissed him deeply back. Her arms pulling him closer to her as her fingers gripped his back in passion. 

There was a loud knock at the door. The knock snapped them both back to reality and they quickly parted.  
“Yes. who is it” Dawson said angrily looking towards the door.  
“Oh Commander I have the maps and logbooks of skyhold you asked for Sir” Philipe’s voice replied from the hallway behind the door.  
“They can wait till morning. DON’T bother me about it now” Dawson shouted. He was furious at being disturbed.  
“Y...ess sir. I’m sorry sir” whimpered Philipe as he ran away down the hallway.  
“I should go. You have many duties tomorrow and so do I” Cassandra said starting to leave the room. Her cheeks still red and flustered.  
“Cassy please.. please don’t go after we just found each other again.” Dawson said softly leaning against the door frame.  
Cassandra looked at him softly placing her hand on his before kissing him goodbye gently on the lips and walking away.  
Dawson watched her walk off down the cold dark stone hallway. He watched the empty hallway for a few minutes after she had gone in the hopes she would change her mind before he went back into his room and closed the door.  
He shut the door and slumped into a leather chair at the desk. His face was awash with sadness, frustration and longing. His eyes began to glaze over with tiers as his eyes glanced on a wooden carved statue of a dragon on the desk. He picked it up and threw it against the wall with anger. The wooden carving hit with such force it smashed loudly against the stone. 

Cassandra walked slowly back to her room. Her fingers touched her cheek where his had been. Her face was still intensely blushing. Dawson had told her he loved her many times before. They grew up together and had been in each others lives for so long. There was something about the way he said it this time though. Something had changed in him since they had been apart. It had been years since they had seen each other. She always thought of him too and had missed him deeply as well.  
He had been her dearest friend and still was. But something had changed between them or maybe she just never noticed it before. Their connection as friends was as strong and deep as ever but there was something else. He made her feel things she had never felt for him before. 

Cassandra lay in her bed attempting to sleep. Her mind wandered deep into memory she had not thought of for a long time.  
She was very small when her parents were being executed and it was the first time she meet dawson. Cassandra and her brother were spared and placed into her uncle’s care.  
Little cassandra was sitting crying on the marble floor clutching her dolly. Things were all a blur for her. She had been awoken in the middle of the night and snatched up. She was confused. She wanted her mommy and daddy. There was lots of strange people looking at her and whispering in hushed tones. It was cold and strange and her brother was yelling a lot at her uncle.  
“You can’t let them do this uncle. You can’t” her brother yelled at her uncle.  
“I’m sorry. Your mother and father made their choice. There is nothing I can do about it.” her uncle pleaded placing a hand on her brother’s shoulder.  
“You just don’t want to stand up for yourself uncle” her brother yelled shrugging off his hand and matching off down the hallway.  
“Please think of your sister my boy… it was all i could do to stop them from executing you both as well. You are both just children..” he’s uncle’s voice trailed off has he ran off down the hallway after her brother and out of her view.  
Cassandra sat on the cold floor alone. Nobles at edges of the room gossiped in whispers and hushed tones.  
A little noble boy about the same age as her wondered up to her. It was a young dawson. His hair was a head of circles as dressed in fine velvets and silks like a little prince.  
He stared at her crying for a moment and attempted to copy what he had seen some gentlemen do in the past.  
He took out a small silk handkerchief “Don’t cry my lady..” he spoke struggling to say the words. He attempted to bow and offer the silk handkerchief to her but failed and toppled over slightly.  
Cassandra giggled at him.  
“You're funny” she said giggling.  
Dawson smiled back.  
“My name is Rooobert Rutherford Alex..ander…” Dawson struggled to remember the rest of his name. It was very hard for someone so young to remember it all so he gave up halfway through and just ended it with “Dawson… but just call me dawson”. He beamed happily.  
“I’m Cassandra” she said peering at him from behind her doll.  
“Casssaaan Casssandur Cassaandaa” Dawson struggled with her name.  
“I will call you cassy! It will be like our super secret best friend names!” He smiled.  
“We need to build a hideout though.. Want to help me make one. I know good spots” dawson said happily reaching out his hand.  
Cassandra nodded and smile and grabbed hold of his hand as they wandered off into the garden. The dream faded away as she awoke. 

Cassandra awoke very early in the morning. She was surprised to find Lavellan sitting in the kitchen already picking at food in a vague attempt to eat.  
“Can’t Sleep either” Cassandra asked sitting down with her.  
“I slept for a while…” Lavellan replies.  
“Dreams I take it?” Cassandra said.  
“Yes.. sort of..” Lavellan looks at Cassandra’s face. She knows that look of having your heart ripped up.  
“Don’t tell me someone’s caught your dreams too Cassandra?” Lavellan laughed.  
Cassandra’s face turned red and she paused.  
“Oh my someone has…..” Lavellan said with intrigue as she saw Cassandra blush.  
“Who is it? Ohhh don’t tell me it's that Idiot dawson.. I knew something was odd with him calling you cassy” Lavellan giggled.  
Cassandra sighed “He’s an idiot.. But he’s my idiot.. I don’t know.. We have been dear friends for so long”  
“He’s kinda of an ass and so insulting” Lavellan said shocked.  
“He doesn't mean what he says… he is different when you get to know him” Cassandra remarked softly.  
“Do think Philipe will have to list his accomplishments before he can go to bed at night with you” Lavellan giggled playfully.  
Cassandra smiled and let out a faint laughed.  
“At least he’s not trying to blow up the world..” Cassandra Joked.  
“True true…” Lavellan laughed pouring Cassandra a glass of water.  
“I am glad varric is not here to watch this.. He would never let me live it down” Cassandra smiled.  
“I miss him and it might give him more ideas for those books you love.” Lavellan replied.  
“So do you think you love him?” Lavellan asked more serious.  
“I… am not sure…. We have been friends for so long. I’m not sure. I think maybe..” Cassandra said confused.

“So do you still love Solas?” Cassandra asked.  
“Yes… very much so.” Lavellan said solemnly.  
“You have been having a lot of sickness and not been eating properly lately.. Are you sure you are well enough to look for him.” Cassandra concerned for her friend.  
“Yes. I am fine. Its just worry I think” Lavellan said attempting the reassure her.  
“I don’t think I could stop you looking for him anyway could I?” Cassandra asked.  
“No. you couldn’t” Lavellan replied.  
“You must be honest with me. If things get worse.” Cassandra pleaded to her.  
“I will. Thank you Cassandra” Smiled Lavellan.  
Neither of them could see Cole invisible in the corner watching them.  
“Yes… yes it will work.. she can heal him. They can heal him. Warm. happy. Fresh, new, crisp. like fresh sheets. Growing from nothing to into someone. Smallest things can change the world. The weakest things can be the most powerful”. Cole thought to himself before stepping back into the fade.


End file.
